Hello Traveler, you’ve been heavy in my thoughts of late. I’m simultaneously busy and perpetually surrounded by people; yet feel lonely and directionless. For the moment this is my grounding force, my medium onto which I can shift my focus to. Least I once again stray from life’s path.
I received a text from a random number the other day and it has haunted me much more than it has any reason too. It is just me that can sense tone within text? Because I swear they were very accusatory. Though it’s probably just my over active imagination. They hardly sent four lines of characters.
It’s gripped me most because they asked who I was… They contacted me through I-messages and I have an email address from them rather than phone number. Saying hi then asking who I was when I responded with Hello? as though someone should have known who they were from their email address alone. I had a minor panic that they had contacted me through my email address, which I don’t like the thought of them knowing.
That’s not what caused me the most anguish though I’m afraid to admit. When I entered into a relationship with my Dom I knew that he was a divorcee, I didn’t see an issue in it. I’ve grown up in an age where divorce is akin to a fashion trend. However, my overactive mind arbitrarily connected the email address to my Dom’s name.
It’s a very common name, highly likely to be just a coincidence. But I can’t help but cower at the thought of one of his past lovers contacting me. Of how they might slander my Dom about our age gap… I’ve long since given up on adhering to society, its amazing what constitutes deformation and unlawful denial of work. But it’d tear me up if my relationship with someone effected their relationships or business dealings.
Or even worse, it being his mother and having to answer a woman’s questions as to why someone young enough to be her granddaughter is dating her son. I’m not yet privy to my Dom’s relationship with his family just yet. So my mind has a blank slate to conjure troubles from. A bad situation for someone with anxiety.
I’m hoping that by getting it off my chest here it’ll ease my anxieties over it. I’ve already responded and resolved the (alleged) wrong number. Even shared it with my friends, whom are ever appreciative to see my words at work. Apparently its impressive to be able to address someones question without answering it and leading the conversation away from it, all in the same sentence.
It just seemed natural and polite to me.
I wish you well,