Soon

Why hello again traveler,

It has been some time since we last spoke. I hardly remembered your existence as fleeting as it has been. My own has been quite fickle, like a flame fighting a strong breeze. But the wind has calmed now and I find myself having to fight less to stay afloat. Though now I face another peril. The lack of distraction. The unappreciated blessing of being busy.

Is it fair to claim to miss someone whom you have never met? Can I call the need I feel to see him longing, if I have not yet met who I am longing for? I can’t miss his tight embrace, or tender lips if I have not yet encountered them. It makes me ache all the more as I have no memories to clutch to my chest. Soon has become our mantra. The only thing tethering me to the ground when I feel the loneliness might consume me.

Soon we may meet. Soon we may get the chance to fulfill all the muttered promises we silently make while typing to each other from a million miles away. Soon the distance will fold like a sheet of paper, bringing opposite corners together. But will soon be soon enough?

It feels as though life is throwing as many obstacles in our path as it can. Miss matching schedules, doors slammed in faces due to marks from an arbitrary system. Well meaning parents questioning ones ability to make it in a new world, when they are unaware that someone is waiting there already to guide you.

But most crippling, ones own doubt. What if he loses interest? There must be many willing to be his sub whose soon would be sooner than my own. Is his late response an indication of just that? No, I must remember his other commitments. Hold dear the time we get to talk and play. And take solace in every time he erases all my doubts with a simple soon.

I wish you well,
Maggiee

 

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